Laughter and resilience

3-27-20

Laughter is sometimes described as the breaking up of consciousness. Without offering too much analysis around what makes something funny, we can agree that being caught by surprise is a big part of it. In short, we expect that something is going to unfold in a particular way and then a banana peel happens, and we “lose it.” What do we lose? Our composure, i.e., that which is composed and not spontaneous.

But then suddenly we become more relaxed, open and pliable.  That feeling is called comic relief.  Relief because it’s a break from pretending that things are predictable and controllable. What a heavy responsibility to think that they are.

In reality, all that we can control is how we respond to what happens. We can certainly plan ahead and hope for a certain outcome, but we can’t guarantee anything.  Say you were planning to go to a big concert and it was cancelled at the last minute.  You’re understandably disappointed and possibly angry.  It’s definitely unexpected news and not an outcome that you would typically meet with laughter.  You’ve forgotten momentarily that you are not in control of what happens to you. 

How great would it be if you could hit a Control/Shift button, recover from the disappointment and reclaim your well-being in the next moment? Well, guess what, you can!  Resilience is a skill that can be built through practice. Like laughter, it involves a breaking up of a rigid way of thinking and a reassembly of what is there.  It means realizing that you can choose how you respond and how you can use your resources in the new context. 

Opportunities to practice resilience arrive multiple times every day.  Tune into whatever thoughts and feelings first arrive.  All of them are welcome.  Then acknowledge that you have the power to choose among them and build what comes next.  

Let yourself smile over the possibilities…